UPDATE:
Please don't miss below and in previous posts Vladimir D. Janković's wonderful suggestions and brilliant commentary:
Please don't miss below and in previous posts Vladimir D. Janković's wonderful suggestions and brilliant commentary:
Color codes:
Orange—please help me with your thoughts and ideas in the comment section
Red—I need even more help ;)
Blue—these are omissions in the English translation
Light Green—reviewed changes implemented :))
Green—changes supported by authoritative sources, i.e. Bible
[italics]—discarded English translations
Orange—please help me with your thoughts and ideas in the comment section
Red—I need even more help ;)
Blue—these are omissions in the English translation
Light Green—reviewed changes implemented :))
Green—changes supported by authoritative sources, i.e. Bible
[italics]—discarded English translations
Israel, luckily [by good fortune], had not been [wasn't] condemned to lifelong suffering. The prophets, the angry interpreters of the gods, had prophesied a better fate: Hear, O Israel, — they sayeth [said], — God, who bestowed upon [gave] you Amram's [his adopted] foundling Moses to deliver you from the enslaved body [to free you from captivity of the body], will give you his only-begotten son to deliver [free] you from sin, the yoke [bondage] of the soul. And he will not be one of those false saviors which all peoples have at all times. His kingdom will not be of this but of another [that] world, and in his hand[s] he will not hold a sword but an olive branch!
Izrailj, srećom, ne beše osuđen na doživotnu patnju. Proroci, gnevni tumači bogova, prorekoše mu bolju sudbinu: Čuj, Izrailju, — govorahu oni. — Bog ti je darovao Amramovo [Avramovo] posvojče Mojsija da te izbavi iz ropstva tela, daće ti i sina svog jedinorodnoga da te izbavi iz greha, jarma duše. I neće to biti jedan od prevarnih [prevarenih] spasitelja, koje imaju u svim vremenima svi narodi. Njegovo carstvo neće biti od ovog, nego od onog sveta, i u ruci neće držati mač, već grančicu maslinovu!
Israel, zum Glück, wurde nicht zum lebenslangen Leiden verurteilt. Die Propheten, die wütenden Dolmetscher der Götter, hatten ein besseres Schicksal prophezeit: Höre, Israel, — sagten sie. — Gott, der euch Amrams Findling Moses schenkte um euch vom versklavten Körper zu erlösen, wird euch seinen eingeborenen Sohn geben, um euch von der Sünde zu erlösen, das Joch der Seele. Und es wird nicht einer der betrügerischen Erlöser sein, die alle Völker zu allen Zeiten haben. Sein Reich wird nicht von dieser sondern von jener Welt sein, und in seiner Hand wird er nicht das Schwert, sondern einen Olivenzweig halten!
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Izrailj, srećom, ne beše osuđen na doživotnu patnju. Proroci, gnevni tumači bogova, prorekoše mu bolju sudbinu: Čuj, Izrailju, — govorahu oni. — Bog ti je darovao Amramovo [Avramovo] posvojče Mojsija da te izbavi iz ropstva tela, daće ti i sina svog jedinorodnoga da te izbavi iz greha, jarma duše. I neće to biti jedan od prevarnih [prevarenih] spasitelja, koje imaju u svim vremenima svi narodi. Njegovo carstvo neće biti od ovog, nego od onog sveta, i u ruci neće držati mač, već grančicu maslinovu!
Israel, zum Glück, wurde nicht zum lebenslangen Leiden verurteilt. Die Propheten, die wütenden Dolmetscher der Götter, hatten ein besseres Schicksal prophezeit: Höre, Israel, — sagten sie. — Gott, der euch Amrams Findling Moses schenkte um euch vom versklavten Körper zu erlösen, wird euch seinen eingeborenen Sohn geben, um euch von der Sünde zu erlösen, das Joch der Seele. Und es wird nicht einer der betrügerischen Erlöser sein, die alle Völker zu allen Zeiten haben. Sein Reich wird nicht von dieser sondern von jener Welt sein, und in seiner Hand wird er nicht das Schwert, sondern einen Olivenzweig halten!
Vladimir D. Janković:
Bestowed upon is great, I think.
* * *
This is what's written in the Serbian original: ...
da te izbavi iz ropstva tela, daće ti i sina svog jedinorodnoga da te izbavi iz greha, jarma duše.
BODY is what makes him a slave, BODY is his tyrant, and he is its slave who is about to be delivered (ropstvo tela, the slavery of the body).
* * *
da te izbavi iz ropstva tela, daće ti i sina svog jedinorodnoga da te izbavi iz greha, jarma duše.
BODY is what makes him a slave, BODY is his tyrant, and he is its slave who is about to be delivered (ropstvo tela, the slavery of the body).
Deliver, deliver – Pekić uses this verb twice, I don’t see why we should change it… So, this would be: … his only-begotten son to deliver you from sin, this yoke of the soul. Yes, I believe that this yoke is convenient, too.
False saviors – This option is not bad at all. There are some other possibilities – fraudulent or deceptive, for instance – but false seems better to me. If we have to opt for a different solution, deceptive is more convincing than fraudulent.
